Let's rewind about three and a half years. I am a junior at BC, looking forward to my senior year of course. I have been accepted into an English language program at Jagiellonian University in Krakow, Poland for the Fall semester and I am psyched. Once I was accepted, I needed to jump through various hoops at BC as well as for the program and for visas and such. One of these hoops was a series of unnecessarily early morning weekend classes sponsored by our international studies department in order to help us prepare for life and studies abroad. I won't lie, I felt very above all of this. I had been wanting to go abroad for SO long, I had done my research, and I had even spent about five weeks in France after my freshman year, which was a good toe in the water, if you will. I knew what I was doing. I even visited Krakow and met the people who ran the program with my Dad over spring break. I didn't need to be told by some random people a bunch of generic cliches at 8 am on a Saturday morning. Needless to say, I was a bit hostile to all of this. Well, something that they told us at one of these classes has apparently been seared into my mind, and now I am experiencing the truth behind it. To be honest, I was even thinking about it long before I left for Hungary.
Well, Poland didn't work out. It wasn't that I showed up and decided I had made a mistake, I never went. Maybe you are wondering if I regret it, and while this is a loaded question, I will say I definitely don't regret my decision. I knew it wasn't right for me at the time. I wish it had been! As I said, I was jumping through various hoops (apparently it is far more complicated for a senior to go abroad than a junior!) and the final hoop was a paper that needed my signature. I stared at this paper until the last possible day, when I realized I just couldn't do it. If I signed the paper, I was officially withdrawing from all of my classes at BC that Fall. I couldn't. Of course there were other issues that lead to my decision, such as my own health, but I just could not imagine missing those classes and potentially losing housing with my best friend, and all during my senior year. (A short aside: For those who don't know, I had emergency gall bladder surgery during finals my sophomore year at BC, so needless to say I was worried about something like this occurring while in Poland.) But not going to Poland back in 2008 left a hole in my psyche and in my life experience. I NEEDED to go abroad and spend time in Central/Eastern Europe. I had studied this region for so long that I needed to make this happen.
Well it's interesting how things work out. If I had gone to Poland in 2008, I would have missed taking a class on East Central Europe in the Short 20th Century, with a Hungarian professor. I loved this class and it did a lot to boost not only my knowledge of the subject, but also my confidence as an "academic-in-traning" of sorts. I wrote a short, 25-page, research paper about the fascist regime in Croatia compared to what happened in Poland (Slovakia could also be added to this group, but I only had 25 pages!) during World War II, both Catholic countries, but with vastly different histories during the war. I felt like I could write a book on this subject, and that planted a seed in my mind that perhaps I would one day. Anyway, this class certainly put Hungary on my radar as a potential destination, and of course here I am now! Life has a funny way of making things work out in the end.
Back to my original thought. So this piece of advice that I keep turning over in my mind may not sound like much, and perhaps you've already heard it. I was told that generally speaking, there is a honeymoon period of about a month. Reality hasn't quite set in yet. Nothing seems quite real yet. But then around the beginning of October, you will have some intense culture shock and homesickness. Now if you've been reading my blog, you know that I didn't have much of a honeymoon period initially. I think I was crying by day 3 in Koszeg, but haven't since! I have been feeling a bit down lately though, partly because I have been sick for the last week, and being sick and alone is just not a good feeling. But I have noticed a similar sentiment with other CETP teachers, and it seems that early morning class was right on point. Look at that...September 29...right on schedule. But I will say, since the first part was so accurate, that though the recovery period varies, it will pass. They assured us of this. Maybe just a few days, maybe a couple of weeks, or longer, but it will pass and you will come out the other end barely wanting to go home. It is culture shock and it is very understandable for people in our position. I will say that having CETP has been AMAZING and I don't think I could have done this without it! It is such a comfort to read other blogs and see similar thoughts and experiences to my own. It's hard to be alone in a foreign country, but having CETP makes me feel like I'm not really alone, so thanks guys! You are all awesome!
And on that note, I will get back to nailing down my activities for tomorrow. Yay Friday!
Showing posts with label Hungary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hungary. Show all posts
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I'm Alive I Promise
Hi Everyone:
I just wanted to write a quick note to let you know that I am alive and I have not forgotten about you, nor about my promise to write in this blog at least once a week. I'm sure you are thinking, well Kristen it has been two weeks since you wrote anything. I really do apologize and I promise it was not my fault!! It felt like the surface of the sun in Budapest and the hostel did not have wireless that agreed with my computer. There was a computer lab, but it was located next to some sort of indoor pool and felt like an incredibly humid surface of the sun. As such, half of the computers did not work properly as computers dislike heat and humidity as much as I do. So I thought, well I get wireless on my phone, I can live without it on my computer this week. I'll have it when I get to Kőszeg. Not so. Ah the frustrations of moving to a foreign country. I am currently on one of the school computers typing very slowly on a Hungarian keyboard that has letters in all kinds of random places.
I have had a rough couple of days, not gonna lie. It is unexpectedly difficult to be the only person in a town that speaks English fluently, meaning a native speaker (and it seems very few people speak English at all here). As English speakers, we are all too used to the world bending to accomodate us and knowing our language. I thought I was prepared for the struggle that this would present, but I don't think you really can be until you experience it. I have a Master's degree in the States and here I am illiterate, I can't even buy what I want at the grocery store without trouble. I can't read how to make the Hungarian version of Ramen noodles, but luckily that seems to be a universal process. (P.S. my stove doesn't work yet, I am not eating Ramen by choice). And speaking of my oven\stove, I have to light it with a match. Yeah. I feel like not only have I moved to a foreign country, I have also gone back in time. Not altogether a bad thing, but definitely an adjustment. After a small meltdown on the phone with my mother last night, I realized as always, that is is really easy to get caught up in many little things that are negative. I have been so welcomed by the staff here at JMG, the town is BEAUTIFUL, and my apartment is huge, clean, and more than I could afford in the States. I went to an excellent classical concert by the local symphony last night with the principal of the school and one of the English teachers held to commemorate the town "defeating" the Turks way back in the 16th century. They really just survived the seige and the Turks thought it was too much trouble to keep going and left them alone, but hey, that's one way to do it. Anyway, both the principal and the teacher were so concerned that I would be cold and made sure that they drove me home and even walked me to my door. I almost feel like some sort of combination of a porcelain doll that everyone is afraid to break, and a new toy that people really want to show off and play with. It's an odd feeling.
On top of all of this, the Hungarians are very difficult to grasp. As in much of this region, they have had a very rough history, but there is a deep pessimism that permeates this culture that I have not experienced before. In Poland, people seemed cautiously optimistic about the future and were striving to improve their English to make themselves more marketable. Here, people almost seem resigned to staying forever and resigned to the poverty and negativity. It's weird. People don't smile. Those of you that now me well know that I don't necessarily consider myself to be an optimist or even an altogether positive person, but the Hungarians make me seem like a freakin care bear. So anyway, the care bear of Kőszeg will live to see another day. Tonight is the opening ceremony of the school and tomorrow is the first day of classes!! I feel ok about it, actually looking forward to meeting the kids and getting things rolling. I think the stress of the unknown is actually the worst part right now. I will let you know how things go! Wish me luck!
I just wanted to write a quick note to let you know that I am alive and I have not forgotten about you, nor about my promise to write in this blog at least once a week. I'm sure you are thinking, well Kristen it has been two weeks since you wrote anything. I really do apologize and I promise it was not my fault!! It felt like the surface of the sun in Budapest and the hostel did not have wireless that agreed with my computer. There was a computer lab, but it was located next to some sort of indoor pool and felt like an incredibly humid surface of the sun. As such, half of the computers did not work properly as computers dislike heat and humidity as much as I do. So I thought, well I get wireless on my phone, I can live without it on my computer this week. I'll have it when I get to Kőszeg. Not so. Ah the frustrations of moving to a foreign country. I am currently on one of the school computers typing very slowly on a Hungarian keyboard that has letters in all kinds of random places.
I have had a rough couple of days, not gonna lie. It is unexpectedly difficult to be the only person in a town that speaks English fluently, meaning a native speaker (and it seems very few people speak English at all here). As English speakers, we are all too used to the world bending to accomodate us and knowing our language. I thought I was prepared for the struggle that this would present, but I don't think you really can be until you experience it. I have a Master's degree in the States and here I am illiterate, I can't even buy what I want at the grocery store without trouble. I can't read how to make the Hungarian version of Ramen noodles, but luckily that seems to be a universal process. (P.S. my stove doesn't work yet, I am not eating Ramen by choice). And speaking of my oven\stove, I have to light it with a match. Yeah. I feel like not only have I moved to a foreign country, I have also gone back in time. Not altogether a bad thing, but definitely an adjustment. After a small meltdown on the phone with my mother last night, I realized as always, that is is really easy to get caught up in many little things that are negative. I have been so welcomed by the staff here at JMG, the town is BEAUTIFUL, and my apartment is huge, clean, and more than I could afford in the States. I went to an excellent classical concert by the local symphony last night with the principal of the school and one of the English teachers held to commemorate the town "defeating" the Turks way back in the 16th century. They really just survived the seige and the Turks thought it was too much trouble to keep going and left them alone, but hey, that's one way to do it. Anyway, both the principal and the teacher were so concerned that I would be cold and made sure that they drove me home and even walked me to my door. I almost feel like some sort of combination of a porcelain doll that everyone is afraid to break, and a new toy that people really want to show off and play with. It's an odd feeling.
On top of all of this, the Hungarians are very difficult to grasp. As in much of this region, they have had a very rough history, but there is a deep pessimism that permeates this culture that I have not experienced before. In Poland, people seemed cautiously optimistic about the future and were striving to improve their English to make themselves more marketable. Here, people almost seem resigned to staying forever and resigned to the poverty and negativity. It's weird. People don't smile. Those of you that now me well know that I don't necessarily consider myself to be an optimist or even an altogether positive person, but the Hungarians make me seem like a freakin care bear. So anyway, the care bear of Kőszeg will live to see another day. Tonight is the opening ceremony of the school and tomorrow is the first day of classes!! I feel ok about it, actually looking forward to meeting the kids and getting things rolling. I think the stress of the unknown is actually the worst part right now. I will let you know how things go! Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
3 Days to Go!
Well this summer just flew by! When I graduated from grad school in May, I thought that the end of August seemed so very far away. It was May 15 and I wasn't leaving for Hungary until August 21, for goodness sakes that's just over three months! A quarter of a year! I'm not sure where those three months went, but here I am on Thursday night thinking about how I will be on a plane bound for Germany in exactly three days. Wow. People keep asking me how I'm feeling about it, and I honestly don't know how to respond. I'm very excited, but also quite anxious about everything. I'm of course nervous about the move itself and getting settled, but also that school starts two weeks from today is slightly freaking me out. I'm so focused on actually getting there that the fact that I will be teaching very soon sort of falls on the back burner. Then I start thinking about it, and start getting very stressed. I settle myself down by trying to focus on the positive aspects of the situation, which of course are many, and to remember that I've always finished what I've started successfully. I try to look at teaching abroad as another challenge that I will face and succeed in tackling. We'll see what happens.
It seems that just before something big like this is going to happen, a roadblock or test of sorts must come up in order to test your resolve. I don't know if that's true for everyone, or just for me, but that has been a common occurrence in my life and this trip has been no exception. As some of you may know, gory details and all, I've had a bit of a medical scare over the past few weeks. I won't go into those details here, but I will say that I had a minor procedure yesterday to rule out some pretty scary things before taking this journey across the sea. Luckily, all was well and the minor problem that I thought, and the doctor thought I had was in fact the only issue found. Whew! I would have been devastated if I would have had to cancel all of this because of my health. I've always had health problems, and I've always made a conscious effort never to let those problems limit my life in any way. I feel that I am going with many tools in my arsenal, and that I have the ability to manage this minor setback while I am in Hungary. This little scare has also had the positive effect of showing me my true feelings about the trip. If this opportunity had been taken away from me due to something beyond my control such as my health, I would have been incredibly upset. I really think that is priceless information that gives me positive vibes going forward!
And for those that are wondering, the packing is going well I think. I have my lists keeping me on track, and I'm hoping I won't forget anything major. I think this will be my last post before I leave for Budapest, so wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I take this big step!
It seems that just before something big like this is going to happen, a roadblock or test of sorts must come up in order to test your resolve. I don't know if that's true for everyone, or just for me, but that has been a common occurrence in my life and this trip has been no exception. As some of you may know, gory details and all, I've had a bit of a medical scare over the past few weeks. I won't go into those details here, but I will say that I had a minor procedure yesterday to rule out some pretty scary things before taking this journey across the sea. Luckily, all was well and the minor problem that I thought, and the doctor thought I had was in fact the only issue found. Whew! I would have been devastated if I would have had to cancel all of this because of my health. I've always had health problems, and I've always made a conscious effort never to let those problems limit my life in any way. I feel that I am going with many tools in my arsenal, and that I have the ability to manage this minor setback while I am in Hungary. This little scare has also had the positive effect of showing me my true feelings about the trip. If this opportunity had been taken away from me due to something beyond my control such as my health, I would have been incredibly upset. I really think that is priceless information that gives me positive vibes going forward!
And for those that are wondering, the packing is going well I think. I have my lists keeping me on track, and I'm hoping I won't forget anything major. I think this will be my last post before I leave for Budapest, so wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I take this big step!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
It's the Final Countdown!!
Hi everyone! Family, friends, professors, and the rest of cyberspace, I welcome you to my lovely blog! I will do my best to keep this updated (I hope at least weekly) while I am away in order to keep you all informed of my exploits, but I also have a selfish motive behind all of this. I will use this blog as a sort of journal of my experiences. I know this is a time in my life that I will want to remember forever, and I have observed as I've gotten older how quickly time flies. I want to be sure to remember not only the major events of my time in Kőszeg, Hungary, but also the day-to-day occurrences that may be lost if not recorded. I am incredibly excited to start this new chapter in my life, and I'm thrilled to take all of you along for the ride!
Well, back to the title of this post. As the ironically named band, Europe, immortalized in song, it is certainly the final countdown for me! 16 days left before my departure from Dulles to Munich and finally to Budapest. While I have been contemplating the potential degree of my homesickness as well as the various procedural hurdles that I will have to negotiate upon landing in Hungary, as my departure date draws closer, I am just getting more and more excited. I was talking to a great friend of mine earlier today, and we were definitely in agreement that this was a good thing! I can't imagine if it was the opposite! I was one of those kids who rarely slept in a different location from my parents growing up. I never went to sleep-away camp, and if I did spend multiple nights away from home, it was always at the home of a family member or close friend in close proximity to home. The first time I left home for any length of time was when I left for college. I purposely chose a place where I felt comfortable (Boston, the city of my birth) but was relatively far away from home. I knew I had to push myself in order to become the independent adult that I had always envisioned. I have since become quite independent and self-reliant, but I do still love being home. I don't feel the need to live under the same roof as my parents of course, but I would not mind being in the same area.
All of that being said, this past spring, with graduation from W&M on the horizon, I was contemplating my future. I was all but offered a teaching job at our career fair in a county within commuting distance from home, and while I was excited about the prospect, something didn't feel right. I felt that my adventures would be over, as immature as that sounds. I would be "settling down," starting a job where I would be working toward tenure, a pension, and a position as a visible member of the community. Perhaps I'm a bit of a gypsy soul, or else I have a travel bug that I can't ignore, but the thought of settling where I grew up at age 24, just felt like I did all of that work on myself for nothing. That sounds awful, and I promise that this has nothing to do with where I'm from or my family, because I love both very much. I feel the strong need to keep pushing myself and discovering new and exciting things about the world. I hope this will help me to know myself better and to be a better teacher when I return to the US.
Well anyway, that's my story. Now perhaps you can all better understand my battle with homesickness, which I'm sure will be a running theme in this blog. And you can see why my increasing excitement about the trip must be a good sign! This experience feels right, and even though I'm sure I will never feel fully ready, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
~KMK
Well, back to the title of this post. As the ironically named band, Europe, immortalized in song, it is certainly the final countdown for me! 16 days left before my departure from Dulles to Munich and finally to Budapest. While I have been contemplating the potential degree of my homesickness as well as the various procedural hurdles that I will have to negotiate upon landing in Hungary, as my departure date draws closer, I am just getting more and more excited. I was talking to a great friend of mine earlier today, and we were definitely in agreement that this was a good thing! I can't imagine if it was the opposite! I was one of those kids who rarely slept in a different location from my parents growing up. I never went to sleep-away camp, and if I did spend multiple nights away from home, it was always at the home of a family member or close friend in close proximity to home. The first time I left home for any length of time was when I left for college. I purposely chose a place where I felt comfortable (Boston, the city of my birth) but was relatively far away from home. I knew I had to push myself in order to become the independent adult that I had always envisioned. I have since become quite independent and self-reliant, but I do still love being home. I don't feel the need to live under the same roof as my parents of course, but I would not mind being in the same area.
All of that being said, this past spring, with graduation from W&M on the horizon, I was contemplating my future. I was all but offered a teaching job at our career fair in a county within commuting distance from home, and while I was excited about the prospect, something didn't feel right. I felt that my adventures would be over, as immature as that sounds. I would be "settling down," starting a job where I would be working toward tenure, a pension, and a position as a visible member of the community. Perhaps I'm a bit of a gypsy soul, or else I have a travel bug that I can't ignore, but the thought of settling where I grew up at age 24, just felt like I did all of that work on myself for nothing. That sounds awful, and I promise that this has nothing to do with where I'm from or my family, because I love both very much. I feel the strong need to keep pushing myself and discovering new and exciting things about the world. I hope this will help me to know myself better and to be a better teacher when I return to the US.
Well anyway, that's my story. Now perhaps you can all better understand my battle with homesickness, which I'm sure will be a running theme in this blog. And you can see why my increasing excitement about the trip must be a good sign! This experience feels right, and even though I'm sure I will never feel fully ready, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
~KMK
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